Setting Boundaries

Sometimes saying no is healthy. When I learned this, I felt liberated and free of obligations that caused me way too much stress. For most of my life, I felt that in order to be happy I should just say yes to any and all social opportunities that headed my way. While it’s great to be social, sometimes we need to put ourselves ahead of others. It’s important for us to listen to our bodies, and honor our feelings. If we change our minds, that is OKAY, that is NORMAL.

“It is better to recharge, than to overextend our mental battery.”

Learning this in therapy was a revelation for me, and i’m hoping it helps those like myself. I was the type to be afraid of saying no, I always put my sanity last. For people struggling with mental health, it is imperative to intuitively listen to the signals our bodies send us. If a friend is easy to turn on you because you are honoring your boundaries, maybe that person isn’t truly your friend. Sometimes when we take care of ourselves, other obligations fall through, and that is okay. Things don’t work out all the time, so it is important to be around people that understand that. If we feel depleted or even belittled after spending time with someone, maybe it’s time to put our feelings ahead that friendship. Setting healthy boundaries may change our environment, but for certain, it will have a positive effect on ourselves.

Mantras to remember if you are having a hard time setting boundaries:

I will take care of myself first.

I will not allow others to guilt or manipulate me into doing things i’m uncomfortable with.

I will honor my emotional needs.

I will stand up for myself and voice my opinions with confidence.

I will not hold myself responsible for things beyond my control.

I will communicate openly, and when I need to, assertively.

I will not let my happiness depend on other people.

I will prioritize my mental health and psychical wellbeing.

I will cut people who make me feel small or inadequate out of my life.