Reconnect with Yourself

“Make your younger self proud” is probably the best piece of advice I’ve ever heard.

Think about yourself when you were little… your interests, disposition, views, goals, and dreams.

Think about yourself now.

I’m not saying to start dressing like a toddler again, obviously, but it’s important to try and connect with yourself, to better help yourself. This mindful approach was offered to me by my therapist, at a time where I was really down on myself, at a crossroad with decisions to make, and stressed out the wazoo. All I kept repeating to myself, and thinking about was how I didn’t know what to do. And, I think we’ve all been there before. And, simply, Rita [my queen, my therapist] asked me, “what did you do when you really ‘didn’t know what to do;’ before you knew stress and responsibilities, what just came out of you naturally, what did you do that made you feel good?” So I thought about it.

I remembered how I use to write in a little composition notebook as a diary, and although it was about my crushes in the fourth grade; it did make me feel good. I used to sing, literally all the time, and although my whole house would scream “shut up Ashley!!”… it made me happy. I used to read those Magic Treehouse books, and A Series of Unfortunate Events; sometimes outside, sometimes before bed, sometimes in the waiting room at the doctors office. Nobody told me to, it just made me happy. I used to play outside, just for the heck of it; climbing rocks, running in the rain and barefoot in the grass- all the time. And, the more I thought about what my younger self did, just because it felt good, suddenly I had things on my to-do list. Suddenly I wanted to do these things, rather than scrolling on my Instagram feed or simply doing anything that wasn't serving my greater purpose.

So, I did what my younger self would do, as Rita suggested, in times of stress, as these forms of self-soothing, if you will, were healthy practices, and came naturally to me. Connecting to my younger self is the best thing I ever did. Even if I just jot down some notes at the end of the day: this makes me self-reflect and, in a way, prepares me for the next day. I don’t have a notebook diary, but even writing on my white board does the trick, shit, a napkin even works. What’s important is that I realize things like, even though it wasn't the best day, I got things done, and the things I didn't get to write down today- I’ll have that chance tomorrow. I started spending more time on myself, as I reflected back on my younger years. Now, I read before bed, when I get the chance, and it actually helps me sleep so much better and helps me slow down at the end of the day and kick off a calming bedtime routine. One of the worst things you can do for your eyes is be on your phone before bed, the screen’s blue light actually tricks your brain into thinking it’s still day time, and this is a large reason why many people who sleep with their phones experience insomnia! I also spend a lot more time in nature now. After my session with Rita, I looked up trails and local lakes, and to my surprise, where my university is, there were so many locally! Now, every time I feel anxious as hell, like I need to escape, or like I need alone time: I drive to Green Lakes, and just walk around, run, do yoga, mediate, listen to music, whatever it is- it helps, like a reset button. Interestingly enough, this form of stress-relief has a name, ‘ecotherpay,’ and, according to NBC news, researchers at the University of Essex found that 9 out of 10 patient suffering from depression felt "higher self-esteem after a walk through a park."

Long story short, when you’re feeling lost, a good way to find yourself, and what really grounds you, is to reflect back on your younger self. Yes, you!